My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
