so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
