Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
