just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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