That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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