So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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