I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
