What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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