You're my little dorito
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
