Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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