She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
