first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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