is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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