Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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