And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
your room smells of hookers.
And success
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
