And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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