What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
