I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We need to rekindle our bromance
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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