Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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