and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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