neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
