I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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