honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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