hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Randomize
