maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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