i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
