Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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