Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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