I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
