It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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