Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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