I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
try to milk me bitch
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