Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
