Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
