Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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