best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
bring money and cleavage
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
