conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize