He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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