You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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