I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Sext me about skeletons
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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