she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize