The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
