I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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