we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
its liver damage thursday
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
