I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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