Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
