I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
