I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
