I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
