i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
