Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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