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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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