Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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