In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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