Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
