I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
