Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
