??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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