dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
