It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
