Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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